I sit looking around the table, drinking in the words of moms from all different stages in life – from preschool to college, diapers to special needs. My heart is so full listening to these ladies because they have so much wisdom to share. So much life has been lived around this table and I need to hear the words they have to say.
But when does my heart really start to loosen its grip just a little? When do my walls start to come down? When I realize that they have the same secret I do.
They fear that they are not enough.
Not enough for their husbands. Not enough for their kids. Not enough for their friends. Not enough for their parents. This underlying nagging fear that is always buzzing around our head like a West Texas fly – we will never be enough.
What does it even mean?? Enough. I don’t think any of us can fully grasp what it is that we’re striving for. Perfection? To fill every need that they have? That we have? Common sense tells us that that isn’t even possible, but our hearts are a different story.
The Bible tells us in Jeremiah 17:9
“The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?”
Certainly not a Pinterest quote there. Can you imagine that on someone’s desktop wallpaper? “Follow Your Heart…..Idiot”.
When we “follow our heart”, as we are told so often in this world, we end up in a stressed out, anxious, over-worked, and overwhelmed state of mind. My heart tells me that what I want is to be all that my family needs, and that IS NOT POSSIBLE.
This self- inflicted disease of people pleasing is rampant. I don’t think there is a woman (or probably a man) out there that isn’t touched by it in some way. Our hearts and minds are filled with input all day long through television, Facebook, Instagram, just pick your poison. We see the perfect HGTV homes, the highlights of someone else’s life on Facebook, the photoshopped perfection of someone’s night out with their perfect husband and we compare. Comparison really is the thief of joy.
Because the truth is, we will never be enough.
We just won’t. So we should all really stop trying. Can we just take a collective breath?
There. Breathe. Doesn’t that feel good? Because you know what else? We were never meant to be enough for everyone else. That is God’s place. So truthfully, when we attempt to be all our kids or husbands ever need we are attempting to be God for them. Again, common sense tells us that is just crazy talk. We would never want that for our loved ones.
But our hearts….
So, next time you see a sign that says “Listen to your Heart”, or “Follow Your Heart” be reminded that advice like that is just ….stupid. Replace it with “Listen to the Father”, or “Follow the Father”, because his leading is always in the right direction.
And his yoke is easy, his burden is light.
Do you struggle with the feeling like you will never be enough? Be encouraged that you are not alone!